Season 02, Ep. 6: Miss Independent

In this episode, Mandi redefines equality and offers 4 practical steps for people with disabilities seeking employment.

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Transcript

Mandi: Mandi Frantz here welcoming you to my podcast - Find Your Beautiful: Life Through the Eyes of a Christian Disabled Woman.  

[Upbeat Background Music]

Mandi: Hey Beauties! I've been so encouraged by those of you who have reached out asking about my next episode. I really appreciate every one of you who listens to these episodes. Honestly, you are the reason I'm even here recording. This podcast thing can be tough. The comparison game I play in my head makes it tougher. I do believe my messages are important and it's uplifting when you reach out asking for more. I make no promises on my next episode after this, except to say that I'm in the mood to write and record, so hopefully it lasts long enough to finish up this season before 2020. 

I promised my next episode would be about career and this has been quite a year for my career. My husband and I were recently reminiscing about what we call our first apartment. It wasn't the first place we lived together, I'll have to share more on that another time, but it was the first place we chose to move into together on our own. Like many young couples, it was a hole in the wall in what was once considered the worst neighborhood to live in. We had very little money, though, so it worked and we were proud of it. We were talking about how we dreamt in that apartment about our futures, about the careers we would have, the money that would allow us to live in a home like the one we live in now. And this led to a discussion about how much we want to move into an even bigger place, to an even better neighborhood for our kids, and what we need to do to get there - make more money.

Finding work for many people is a challenge. Yes, when you add in disability it becomes even harder. While I may not be independent on the outside, my spirit is extremely independent. In fact, I am...what do they call it nowadays? The bread winner, bringing home the bacon, putting actual food on the table, the provider? However you want to describe the person financially supporting the home, that's me. Strange, right? It is actually kinda strange for me. It's not what I expected, but I also kinda love it. 

You see, I've always been Miss Independent...I guess Mrs. Independent now. But how? How did I get to the place I'm at without a college degree? With my disability? In one of the most competitive cities in the United States? Join me as I share my process. 

[Mandi voices Ad (ads change and will vary)]

[Doorbell Sound Effect]

Mandi: I have often heard the cliche, "Life doesn't come with instructions." However, as I browsed the shelves of an awesome new book shop in the City, I stopped for a while at the shelves labeled Self-Help. There I found books on becoming a good leader, parenting strong-willed children, managing finances, healing your relationships, and yes, books on getting a job. It dawned on me that many great, and not so great, writers have offered their instructions to life. What was missing from the shelves were books written by people with disabilities on any of the topics I mentioned, including getting a job. I can spend an entire episode talking about the lack of representation in the public eye, and I might, but my point is that there is no literature easily available to guide people with disabilities on how to successfully enter the workforce. You may be asking, "Why not just pick up the books that are available for getting a job? Why does it have to be disability specific? What happened to equality?" Slow down friend. Let me explain.

I first have to take a step back and share a critical principle I believe in and it starts with the question, what is equality? This question has been coming up a lot for me lately, especially the more engaged in advocacy and diversity work I become. To me, equality does not mean making everything the same. Sameness and equality are very different. Trying to create sameness leads to much division, as illustrated by horrific tragedies like the Holocaust. No, equality is about value. It means sharing the same amount of value. This difference may seem subtle, but it is so important. Unlike sameness, equality allows, maybe even encourages, and definitely embraces differences. I'll try to give a more concrete example:

In discussions of marriage, we often hear partners say they want to be equal in the relationship. This in no way means they wish to be their partner. I do not want to be my husband. I want to be myself, but have the same value as my husband. As another example, let's look at apples and oranges. We often use the saying, "You're comparing apples and oranges" when we believe someone is talking about 2 completely different ideas, though they have equal value. In this case, they are both fruit, though they are very different types of fruit. Their equality, though, doesn't change.

When I talk about equality for people with disabilities, for myself, I am not asking to be a typically functioning person. I am not asking for people to pretend my disability doesn't exist. In fact, I've shared in a previous episode that until you see my disability as part of my identity, you don't really know me. When I fight for disability equality, I am fighting to be valued as everyone else, not to be the same.

Going back to becoming financially independent through employment, books written by typically functioning authors, often geared towards a typically functioning audience, do not address major issues someone with a disability like me are going to face. A prime example is that many job guides tell you what to wear to an interview. This often consists of some type of business suit. Yet, most business suits do not have that stretch that is an absolute must for someone with severe muscle contractions like mine. Next, the professional handshake. Well, there goes any chance I have because the employer is going to get that embarrassed feeling of reaching out and realizing I'm unable to do the same. 

For someone with a disability, there is a sad truth when it comes to getting hired for a job, one that wasn't specifically designed for people with disabilities. The truth is, your main job at an interview is to make the potential employer feel comfortable with your disability. Your job is to address the elephant in the room, to help them see the glass half full. It is to educate them and give them new eyes. To be fair, helping potential employers view you as the best version of yourself is important for anyone. However, we have to help them see beyond what is often staring them in the face, and sometimes what is invisible to them. Most employers start off from a place of expecting you to fit in. This is how you got called for the interview. On paper, you'd be great. It is very uneasy for many employers, as they fumble to make the interview room accessible, leave their hand awkwardly in the shake position, and watch you sign your name with a pen in your mouth, to view you as equal. Many have been trained to believe equal means same. 

So, how did I do it? How did I become an Executive Director of a nonprofit? The honest truth is that I was very blessed. I showed up about an hour late for my interview to be a part-time employee with the organization in 2015. Of course this wasn't by choice. It was because the meeting location was far and I didn't have the confidence to say I needed to meet somewhere closer. It was because there was no accessible subway station nearby. It was because I had to take 2 buses during New York City rush hour. It was because I am disabled. I showed up though. That is so important. No matter what, always show up for yourself.

I laughed about it and helped my interviewer feel like it was ok to laugh about it too. It was actually funny. Most people would have been written off right there. Tardiness is not acceptable. Yet, I owned the fact that I was late and didn't make excuses. All I said was I should have left earlier, never mind that I gave myself 2 hours. I should have given myself 4. Then I bragged. That's right, I was the only person who would work harder, longer, and better than anyone else. Why? Because I understood the opportunity before me. I valued the chance. I felt I had something to prove, and more importantly, I had the skills to do it. 

While I didn't show up late to my "promotion plea" interview, I still applied the same principles:

1. Make them feel comfortable with my disability by recognizing it and helping them embrace it so we can move on to the other important stuff

2. Own my limitations and not pretend I'm capable of things I can't do

3. Speak up for my needs. If they can't accommodate, then they lost out on one of the best employees they'll ever interview

4. Brag! Unashamedly talk about my accomplishments, my passion, my experience, my value

While this is no book, and can only be viewed as an example, I hope this helps. I'm so blessed to be Mrs. Interdependent!

  

[Bling]

Mandi: I would love to hear your experience looking for work, whether you have a disability or not. Also, if you are an employer, how can the disability community help you be more inclusive?

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[Mandi voiceover to 'Compton' music]: The next episode will tackle Mental Health and the holiday season. ‘Til next time Beauties!