S5, Ep. 1: A Whole New World

Unwilling to give up her commitment to Christ and learning that His love is more inclusive that traditional interpretations give Him credit for, Mandi introduces the ideas behind the traditional view of evangelical view of homosexuality and opens the door to reconsidering the Scriptures.

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Transcript

Mandi: Mandi A. here welcoming you to my podcast - Find Your Beautiful: Life Through the Eyes of a Christian Disabled Woman.  

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Mandi: Oh my goodness...It's been almost 2 years since I recorded an episode. I left you all with 2.5 episodes in season 4 and then totally abandoned this space. Trust me, recording has been on my heart and mind countless times over the last few years, but every time I planned to come here, I was overwhelmed. My story was moving so fast in my life and the changes took so much mental and emotional resources. I had no idea how to put everything on paper or organize thoughts to record.

There are so many personal updates to share, but I hope most of my loyal supporters here follow me on other social platforms and are somewhat in the loop because I can't and won't share everything here. I've talked a number of times in the past about the purpose of this podcast. The personal purpose is a form of journaling. I find it very therapeutic to come here and share. This podcast has also aimed to be educational, mainly with a focus on empowering the disability community and our allies. As my life has evolved, I've always shared my story in hopes of drawing attention to and bringing awareness of important, and often controversial, systemic issues. These future episodes will be no different in aiming to do that, though the experiences I'll pivot to are my experience as a member of the LGBTQIA* community and how I reconcile my faith with my orientation. To be honest, I have no idea how many episodes this will span, but the subject is important and I pray they empower and educate you.

I'll start this series of episodes by reviewing the traditional view of same-sex relationships because I think it's important that conservative Christians believe I actually understand their viewpoint. I did, in fact, adhere to this traditional view for many, many years. It's what I was always taught and it wasn't until I truly started seeking Christ and his character for myself that I discovered that God's love and inclusion is much, much greater than traditional views give Him credit for. 

So, let's start at the beginning, a very good place to start. You may want to grab a bible!

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Mandi: Since I was 6 years old, I was taught, and still believe, that the Bible is God's Word. It's both His life manual and love letter to His people. I was taught, and still believe, that His Word is infallible, and though it was written through man, it is authoritative and applicable to how we live today. The Word became flesh in the birth of Jesus Christ and all who accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior are washed clean of their sin through the sacrifice he made of His life on the cross. It is important to also share that I believe in the Holy Trinity, God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the words spoken by Jesus, you know those bright red letters in the bible, are very much the words of God. I also want to share that I believe God's character was the same yesterday, is the same today and will be the same tomorrow.

At a young age, I understood that God uses us fallible, sinful, imperfect humans as his mouthpiece. The bible is filled with stories of God using what we would consider the most unworthy and sinful people to do great works on his behalf. If you're not familiar with who the 12 Disciples are, please go dig in. They were not what we may consider saintly. However, God's ways aren't always understandable to us.

One of the many doctrines I grew up with was that homosexuality and all sexual relationships that were not between a man and a woman within the covenant of marriage were sinful, with same-sex relationships in particular being an "abomination." In fact, the following 6 Scriptures tell us this clearly: Genesis 19:5, Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9, 1 Timothy 1:10. If you don't have your bible handy, don't worry because there will be in depth episodes on each of these verses, but if you read them, you will easily see how these passages support the traditional view of same-sex relationships. Further supported by verses like 2 Timothy 3:16-17 which reads, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness," I had no reason to question what I was taught. All people who identified as anything other than straight and acted on their orientation would go to Hell for eternity. While this thought seemed sad, it wasn't directly impacting me. At that young age, I didn't know anyone who was openly gay and I certainly wasn't considering my own orientation.

However, as we all do, I grew up. I started being exposed to new people, different cultures and ideas. I befriended many people in the LGBTQIA* community and I was sad and scared. How could these friends, many who acted more like Christians than those who claim the faith, be condemned to Hell for eternity simply because of who they fall in love with and have sex with? I also had to face the music, as I do now, that my own sexual orientation was never fully straight. Most people don't know this, but my first kiss was with a girl when I was 12. The church made me feel so guilty about this with their teachings against homosexuality that many years later, just before I got married, I called her and apologized. But that never changed the fact that there were women over the years who drew a different kind of feeling and attraction out of me. As someone who now identifies as Heteroflexible, meaning I'm mainly attracted to the opposite sex, but do have leanings towards same-sex attraction, it was easy for me to mask this part of my identity. And I did, from almost everyone, including myself, but I felt great pain seeing many of my friends reject church, reject the bible, reject God Himself because of who they were taught God was.

In 2018, when my Deconstruction phase began, questioning how God could condemn loving and otherwise faithful people to Hell because of their orientation was one of the first things I did. I even remember reaching out to a fellow believer and parent of a transgender child to better understand how she reconciled her faith with supporting and even advocating for LGBTQIA* rights. All of this questioning started before I fell in love with my partner, but falling for her made it even more pertinent for me to reconcile my identity.

From my understanding of the traditional view of same-sex relationships, people who are gay should either commit themselves to a life of celibacy, never allowing themselves to experience romantic or sexual fulfillment, or they should "pray the gay away," masking their orientation and denying their flesh by living what appears to be a straight life. This sacrifice, from the traditional view, aligns with the values of Christian living because Jesus lived a life of denying himself pleasures and gave the ultimate sacrifice of life. Simply because this sacrifice is hard and sad doesn't mean that we shouldn't bear our cross and put God's word above our temporary experiences here on Earth. In John 10:35, the Word says that, "Scripture cannot be set aside." Proverbs 3:5 tells us not to lean on our own understanding and Jeremiah 17:9 says our hearts are deceitful and wicked, further exemplifying that our human experience is a fallible guide to truth.  And finally, 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, [God] will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." With this biblical support, homosexuals are called by the traditional interpretation of Scripture to deny themselves, not trust their longing for committed and loving same-sex relationships.

Hopefully, you have a basic understanding now of how people who hold traditional biblical views have come to their beliefs on same-sex relationships. Now you know that mandatory celibacy or masking are the only options many Christians believe exist for people who aren't straight. 

In the next few episodes, I will challenge you to look at the 6 Scriptures I mentioned above with new eyes. Put yourselves in the seat of a jury, unbiased and willing to hear evidence that supports a different view. Start off by considering the following 2 things:

1. The last verse I shared from 1 Corinthians 10:13 reads, [God] will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." A 2017 study by Aranmolate, Bogan, Hoard and Mawson shows that LGBTQ youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth. There are too many successful attempts to count. For many people experiencing same-sex attraction, the ideas of being unaccepted, never experiencing a fulfilling romantic or sexual relationship and going to Hell for their thoughts and desires are too much to bear.

2. While God warns us not to only trust our human experience, he does not tell us to completely do away with our experiences. During Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives us a clear and experience-based test to measure teachings. At the time, he was warning against false prophets. Read Matthew 7:15-20 as we'll delve into this scripture next week and use this to test the traditional interpretation of Scripture on this matter. 

    

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Mandi: If you listened all the way through, thank you! Whether you're listening to prove me wrong, or because you are seeking how you can reconcile your faith with affirmation of the LGBTQIA* community, I'm grateful for your time. 

If you find value in my podcast, please leave a review on my on my website at mandiboxbeauty.com. You can also connect with me on Instagram and Facebook at MandiBox Beauty. 

[Mandi voiceover to 'Compton' music]:  Next week, we'll talk about trees, fruit and more! ‘Til next time Beauties.